Rrrratchet Rap! Ratchet Rap!

Hey y'all!  I don't know if you can imagine the dance I was doing while rapping and typing "Rrrratchet Rap! Ratchet Rap!"! LOL!  So, it just so happens that my 31st birthday is rapidly approaching!  Uh, yeah...I made a banner.  Don't get excited! It's just an awesome banner...

I also made a neat little flyer deal to tell all of my friends where I'll be on that day. But, a wise grasshopper told me to that that shit down!  You don't know WHO is going to be following us that day!  Smart grasshopper!

Effin' awesome!  I'm getting into the birthday groove.  While I love some good old Soul, R&B, Alternative, Pop, Country and Jazz music...I love rap as well.  It has to be good ratchet rap that touches my inner rat...ahem...excuse me...my inner HOOD rat.

Here are my birthday selections:

Hey! Hey!  I didn't say they would be PG-13.  I said they were ratchet!  Don't you judge me buddy!

Staying Too Long

Do you ever feel as though some parts of your life are just....well...stagnant?  Think about it.  You get up, get dressed, help your family get it together, drive in traffic/commute, work, come home, cook and clean, rest and repeat. You're moving but, you're not going any where.  Routine has dominated your life.  Not that routine is all bad of course. Routine keeps us balanced.  It can also keep us numb.  Numb to life going on outside your routine.  Numb to ambition.  Numb to alternative ways of thinking. Numb to the fact that we're standing still...stagnant.

The older I get the more I value and appreciate the spontaneous dreamer that used to exist within me as a younger woman.  So, I've decided to resurrect her.  So many parts of my life require that there is a steady constant.  So, I can't escape some of my routine.  However, I don't have to be oblivious to the rest of the beauty, intrigue, depth, and enormity of life going on all around me.

Here are some of my plans to live outside the routine:

1.  Take different routes to and from work.
2.  Listen to a different radio station.
3.  Eat something new.
4.  Kiss my husband before he says hello.
5.  Dye my hair.
6.  Go a whole week without complaining.
7.  Get naked in the mirror...in other words stop avoiding my fat.
8.  Talk less, listen more.
9.  Go on a hike.
10. Pick a flower...and smell it.

Do you ever wonder about life outside the routine?  Has routine claimed all of your drive, ambition and wonder?

What would be on your list?

Conflict Resolution

Women get a bad rep.  We're largely emotional and that drives a lot of our decisions.  It colors our interactions with each other, our spouses, our families, friends and colleagues.  In my opinion, it's very important to have the ability to handle conflict with class, and finesse.   By nature, I'm surly.  So, it's easy for me to dislike someone and use my tongue as a lethal weapon.  However, I'd like to think that I'm too polished and poised for the senseless bickering and tom foolery.

For the most part, I'm very methodical when I'm dealing with conflict.  I make measured statements and really think about the person I'm having conflict with before addressing it. This is not always my way.  I've have quite a few "snap on sight" moments.  You know - moments when you don't think...you just react.  "Snapping on Sight" is really not the best approach.  When you deal with conflict this way, you are at your most lethal.

My mantra is to use honesty as my war banner.  I'd rather tell someone the truth, listen to their rebuttal, and then give them more truth.  The often frustrating result of this method is folks not accepting your truths.  BUT...no one can doubt truth.  That's why it's best to lead with that.

When I watch certain TV shows, I shake my head at the way the cast handles conflict.  Now, of course, there would be no show without drama.  I get that.  However, I wish that folks didn't immediately jump up to get physical!  I mean, that is some primitive shit.

There are a plethora of important lesson learned during our time here on Earth.  However, one of the most important, is to learn the art of disagreeing.  Try and dissect the problem.  Think of a clear, concise and respectful way of handling it and move on.  Even if you don't get the last word or pop your foe in the mouth, you can walk away knowing that you handled your situation as a mature, classy, dignified and respectable person.

If that doesn't work.  Fuck 'em up!  Just kidding...no I'm not.

I Have Nothing to Talk About...

Hey Hannahs (that would be honey...the ratchet way)!  So, I haven't been blogging because honestly, I've been feeling like I should let Rose Redd Said go.  I don't feel like I have anything to talk about that you all would actually be interested in reading.

I mean, there a so many blogs out there.  A lot of them talk about shit that isn't very attention grabbing.  I just didn't want my blog to fall into the abyss of boring ass blogs.  I'm not hating on anyone's blog!  I'm simply stating that I don't want to put y'all to sleep with tales of belly button lint and socks.  Let me tell you...I get the most views when I'm being "Funny" as opposed to when I'm talking about my recipes or my DIY projects.  Folks don't give a damn about that.  So, that presents a conundrum for me.  Do I "shuck and jive" for y'all or share what I want to share.  I guess the answer is both.  Plus, shucking and jiving does come natural.

That's why my posts are so infrequent.  Does that draw brands to me?  No.  Does that do anything for my analytics?  That would be a hell no.  But, it's how I've dealt with this blog up until now.

My Good Judy, Neshanta (styleisshe.com) and I were having a conversation.

I said:  "Yeah, I'm done with Rose Redd Said, the blog".
She said:  "Bitch you'd better get it together...you are not getting rid of that blog"!
I said:  "Well damn, I guess I'm not".

There were more words after that but, basically, that's how it went.  So, I'm going to keep this ROSEY party going.  I'm not making any promises.

I'm just going to do me and see what happens.  All my other attempts at assimilating have failed.

A Breath of Fresh Hair...

Hello lovelies!  I'm going through a personal transformation.  Inside and out.  I decided to cut my locs into a bob.  A funky, sexy, fly bob at that!  I was carrying around a lot of hair and a lot of baggage too.  I had been toying around with cutting my hair for a while.  Let me tell you what was holding me back: 1.  I thought if I cut my hair then, folks would be able to see more of my neck and face FAT.  2.  I thought if I cut my hair then, folks would be able to see more of my neck and face FAT.  Second verse, same as the first.

Now, I don't know why I gave a furry fuck about how folks viewed me but, I got over it.  And I CUT IT!  Even though I know some terrific naturalistas/locticians/natural hair care givers I decided to keep my duckets  and cut it myself.

When I made the first few cuts, I felt liberated!  In those first few moments I let go of so much negative energy.

You can see just how much hair I had to let go of.  I know folks look at locs and see time, energy, effort and all that but, along with that comes assumption, false security and stereotypes.

One of the main reasons I loved my long hair is because it allowed me to feel safe.  It was something that I felt took attention away from my flaws.  To be flawed is to be human and no amount of hair or anything else can alter that.  I decided to let go of my veil and view life head-on...and allow folks to see me for me...not my damn hair.

So now...I'm fulfilled knowing that I took a chance.  I tried.  I did something new and unexpected.

It turns out that I am NOT my hair! Go figure!

Inspired by a Blogger...My FRIENDS give LIFE!

Hey y'all!  Today, while I was taking my daily stroll through blog land, I came upon THIS POST from Bernetta of Bernettastyle.com.  She called it her Girlfriend Hit List.  She basically shared a photo of her closest friends and said a little something about them! I thought that was AWESOME! So, I decided to do the same thing!  I'll be doing these "inspired by" posts more often!  Now, I'm not swagger jacking but, paying homage to a good concept and putting my spin on it!

Not only am I GRATEFUL and HONORED to be friends with these ladies, I'm in awe of how they TRULY know me but, love me anyway!  *Clink, clink* and *Scoot, scoot* to my "circle" of FAB friends!

I met April in the Summer of 2001.  We were in the same health class in college and we hit it off right away!  She has ALWAYS been there to support me in everything I do.  She plays no games but, she has the BIGGEST heart of anyone I've ever met.  We are never at a loss for things to talk about, she's a good listener and her spirit just aligns well with mine!  She's definitely the big sister I never had.  I love you girl! 

I met Ashanti through April.  They are the LAST BFFs honey! #PraiseFriendship  When I tell you that this lady is the #1 supporter!  She has bought more cards and services from my design company, Twotearsinmybucket.com than ANYONE! LOL!  She listens to me and always allows me to be myself.  She will very politely tell you the REAL and not think twice about it.  She recently got married and it was so beautiful.  I was so honored to be part of special day.  I think she has to be one of the few people in the world that knows all my tea and crumpets honey! She'd better not EVER write a book about me! LOL!  She is the only person living with a platinum heart...encrusted with diamonds of course! 

My J. King!!!!  We met each other at work six years ago.  She said she didn't befriend me in the first few weeks because the admin had a high turn over and she didn't want to get to know someone who was going to be gone in a minute! LOL!  Heffa!  She is very mild mannered and laid back but, don't you be fooled! Homegirl will eat your lunch...and quickly at that! LOL!  She has NEVER judged me and NEVER made me feel anything but good.  She is honest, hardworking and strong.  She inspires me.  Oh, and don't sleep on her baking skills www.neverdessertyou.com  I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for our talks.  She has saved me from many a blunder!  

Do you recognize this lady?  Style is She.  Who me?  No her! LOL!  She's NeShanta of Styleisshe.com!  But, she's also my friend.  You know when you reach the seasoned age of 30, your circle of friends has *typically* already been formed.  So, I was surprised when I met her and we clicked so much!  I can tell her anything and I know she'll still have my back.  What a great gift to be given a good friend when you weren't even reviewing applications!  She is honest, forward and just as ratch-sophisticated as me!  We have the LAST friendship hann-nah (that's honey pronounced the ratch-sophisticated way)!

These are the DIVAS!  I'm not going to lie, my ex-best friend was in the front of the photo so, I kindly cropped her out.  But, seriously...these ladies are so sweet and we support each other.  Of course I'm closer to some of the ladies than others but, we're always there to lift each other up and that means a lot.  I love them all, they are each unique and have so much to share with the world. 

I have to give a SPECIAL shout out to Toya, the modern day Mother Teresa for always being a listening ear.  She is the friend I don't deserve.  I don't think she's even capable of killing a mosquito.  She's kind, gentle, giving, sweet and lovely.  She is the DIVA in the white on the back row.  

Alright that's it!  Do you love your circle of friends?  Do they give you life?  If not...change ya circle boo!

Thanks to Bernetta for inspiring this post!

Please Believe I'm Talking About You...

Hello lovelies!  Okay, so, I have a confession.  I don't really watch TV like that.  If a show is good and I hear about it enough I will watch it on Hulu+ or Netflix.  If I can't find it there, I'll check the network sites or the blogs.  That brings me to Basketball Wives (not LA, the original)! Chiiiiiile I have never seen such tomfoolery wrapped up in shenanigans and fuckery in my ENTIRE LIFE!  The sad part is, all the ladies on the show have something good and real to bring.  It's just their interactions with each other that cause the positivity to take a nose dive.

They're always getting into some drama over what one lady said about another lady behind her back!  Who doesn't talk about folks they know to other folks they know?  Sure you don't have to be malicious and slanderous but, you do talk about folks!  If you're questioned about it, you should be able to say "Yes, I said xyz because...".

I said all that to say...do you really get upset if you know that folks are talking about you?  I mean, is it THAT serious? Now, would I be hurt if I found out my closest friends thought I was a dog faced heffa?  Of course!  But, if Susie Suckface thinks I'm stuck up...I don't care enough about her to let that anger me...well, I may get a LITTLE angry!  So, I think if you're one of those folks that says "Don't talk about me"! Then, you're being impractical   Folks talk.  When you become okay with that...a lot of frustration and upset will subside.

'Cause truthfully, If I have met you, I'm going to talk about you.  Hell, if I haven't met you, I may talk about your online representative (i.e. your blog, your twitter comments).  I'm going to say whether or not you were cool, how you made me feel, what you were doing, etc.  If you were a jerkface, I'm going to really talk about your ass!  No like for real. That's a part of life.  It doesn't have to be a bad thing...but, it does happen.

Now for those of you that say that you don't talk about others...I don't believe YOU!  I don't know why but, that has always irked me!  If you don't talk about other people then you aren't talking about anything! People are the substance of LIFE!  That's all that there is to it!  So, don't you gallop up to me on your high horse acting like you're above my good tea!

No man is an island.  #RoseReddSaid