Dear Sweetest Thing...

It's 4:16am.  I'm sitting in our dark living room bathed in the light of our flat screen that sits perched atop our mantle.  My body is sore and aching recovering from having some drains removed from both breasts and the two incisions on my back.  I'm feeling emotional and I'm reflecting as a result of a film, Rob the Mob. The movie is centered around a modern day "Bonnie and Clyde" that rob a few Mafia Social clubs.  Their love for each other was so raw.  Even through their life circumstances, their love was the beacon that shined through.  It reminds me of the raw, unconditional love my husband and I share.

This double mastectomy has changed my life and the lives of those around me in ways, I'm sure, we've yet to discover.  Throughout this entire process, there has not been one minute during which I have not being enveloped in love and support.  My constant companion and supporter has been my husband, Terence.  Even as I'm composing this, he is asleep, (rather uncomfortably) on the couch next to me.  He won't leave my side.  Love like that is...beautiful.

He comforts me, he encourages me, he sees beauty where I see flaws.  He lifts me up.  I could list his many, many positive attributes.  I could wax poetic about our bond and our unwavering commitment to each other.  However, instead, right now...I'd like to just use this space to revel in the glow of his love while I bathe in the light of the television in our dark living room.

Grateful for him.

He Upgraded Me...

I met him when I was 20 years old.  I was rehearsing with my band mate and he just so happened to be there.  I remember thinking to myself...self...damn he's fine! His looks weren't the big attraction though.  He was suave, smart, funny, sexy and reserved.  He was complimenting me and speaking to me in ways, I had never experienced before.  He was refreshing.

Of course he didn't look like this 11 years ago but, he has only gotten sexier with age!

  Don't look too close heffa! LOL!

 As time passed, our relationship progressed.  We eventually became husband and wife.  That journey has been indescribable.  However, if I had to describe it I'd say, it's not unlike a long distance flight - some turbulence, some discomfort but, all the while you're floating among the clouds and basking in the beauty of it all.  One of the constant factors in our lives has been that my husband continuously exposes me to new things and educates me about an array of things.  Though I'd like to pretend I've had it all together the entirety of our marriage and courtship, that just isn't the truth.  

So yeah at 24 and 10 days, I wasn't as "together" as I thought.  He helped me get there.

He has exposed me to so much. When I think about who I could have been had I not met him, I shudder. Of course, I didn't always have an appreciation for the ways in which he was educating me.  As a prideful young woman, I didn't want to seem ignorant or handicapped in any area of life.  But, I was...and in some ways, I am.  It feels good to know that he is there to provide insight, balance and another perspective.  Not gonna lie, sometimes if feels overwhelming.  

I should have probably led with the fact that we recently took a trip to California, his home state.  It's so different from what I'm used to.  Georgia is my home.  So, to see the beautiful mountains, gorgeous beaches and sprawling suburbs with endless bicycle lanes and people OUTSIDE walking, biking, jogging and enjoying each other was inspiring.  He had asked earlier in our marriage if I'd be willing to leave Atlanta and of course I replied FUCK NO!  I was vehemently opposed to relocating...which served to narrow my world view.  I'm so grateful that we took that trip.

Okay, Venice Beach blew my mind!  Just another experience he's given me that has me forever changed!

What I'm attempting to articulate is that I am a much more well-rounded person because of my husband.  I'm forever grateful too.  It took many a moon for me to be comfortable with him wanting to be in a teaching/coaching role.  I took it as him wanting to change me or judge me.  It has really served to better me.  He allows me to do the same for him as well.  I don't know that my teaching/coaching him is as impactful for him but, I know that my life is better and it's all because I was able to let go and let him upgrade me.

Do you allow your man to coach/teach you or "upgrade" you?

2 Seconds Away...

What's up Rose Heads?  Today, I thought I would do something a little different.  Today  I'm going to first share my awesome sauce outfit that I wore yesterday...

I wish I had taken a better photo so that you could see my shoes!  They are almond toe, grey and white sling backs.  I got them from Nine West like five years ago.  They are so comfy and fab.  The necklace used to belong to my mama...I think she told me she bought it in '88.  The pants are from Forever 21+.  Let me tell y'all obviously they are the star of the show.  I tried to be more neutral with my top A: because I was at work and didn't want to give them too much sexy at once (lol) and B: because I think when the bottom is so busy you chill on the top.

So, that's that for this outfit.

Fit Facts:

Black Cardi - New York and Company

Black Cami - Charlotte Russe

Floral Joggers - Forever 21+

Almond toe pumps - Nine West

Necklace - Vintage

NOW I'm TWO (2) SECONDS FROM...

...buying THIS dress:

...trying to replicate THIS look in our living room:

...finishing our UPCYCLED kitchen table...

(It used to look like this...this isn't my kitchen btw...got it off Craigslist)

Now it looks like this...

I'm TWO SECONDS away from sexting this guy...

Don't worry...he's my husband...it's all good! LOL!

Enjoy your weekend!

Keep Your Head to the Sky,

Rochelle