The other day I began to think of how much we as Black women spend on toiletries and products to keep ourselves "together". There are some things that I have purchased ever since I can remember! Why is this list exclusive to Black Girls? Well, these products are designed to preserve our skin, get rid of our blemishes, condition our hair, accessorize our hair and so much more. As a culture, we stick with the products we love! Take a look at my lists and see if you live and die by these products as well. These lists could go on forever but, in the interest of maximizing my time and yours I've cut it down to the must haves (or use to be must haves).
1. Queen Helene's Cocoa Butter (LOTION Category). Liiiike, I kind of feel like you may not be a negro if you or your mama, auntie, cousin, friend didn't have this in the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom.
2. My first lotion EVER was Jergens (LOTION Category): My mama bought it, her mama bought it and so on. This one my be a bit suspect EXCEPT..all my friends grew up on it too. Coincidence? I think NOT! BGA (Black Girl Arsenal) approved!
3. Vaseline(GREASE Category): Okay, if you need me to elaborate upon this one...go take a nap.
4. Baby Oil Gel (GREASE Category): This one is a new one but, it still banishes ashyness to the place where ash goes to die...moisterville.
5. Lip Smackers Lip Balm (Lippie Category): If you and your friends didn't make it a point to collect all the flavors, I'm inclined to believe that you don't know how to jump rope or do "Tweet-a-leet-a-leet (Twinka baby, twinka baby, ya breath stink baby)".
6. Carmex (Lippie Category): The lip balm of the GODS! #PraiseMoses
7. Dove (Soap Category): How many good scrubbings with that Dove did you get? Me? Oh...I'd say about 1,000,000.
8. Ivory (Soap Category): Girl if you don't go in there and lather up real good with that Ivory!!! I swear fo' God!
9. Noxzema (Face Wash Category): I feel like this is the BGA gateway face wash. #LeCray
1. Childhood Hair Accessories: Beads, Barrettes, Bomb-Bombs and mini black rubber bands (will make her dance). P.S. STOP putting all those damn beads and barrettes in these children's heads! Babies can't even hold their little heads up because they're so heavy covered in all those damned barrettes!
2. Hair Grease: Castor Oil, Blue Magic, Sulfur 8, Jam and Black Pro-Style gel. I know the gel isn't grease but, Baaaay-Baaaay I lived and died for that gel from about 1995 - 1997. The Castor Oil, Blue Magic and Sulfur 8 all smell HORRIBLE to me! Ugh! The worst! That Jam was a grease/gel hybrid. Talk about a slick ass ponytail with a swoop bang in the front! WHAT!
3. Hair Must-haves: Satin Bonnet, Rake, Rat Tail Comb, Bandanna. If your mama, granny, cousins or aunties didn't have a bandanna or a silk bonnet or some bonnet like "head rag" then, you my dear may not be as Black as you thought...don't make that face! That rat tail comb used to save my LIFE when I had micros and box braids back in the day! My mama would use it to get those expert parts too! Ms. Willie Mae...making straight parts since 1982! LOL! Finally the rake! Baaaaay-Baaaay! That's how Oprah used to have the LAST weather girl hair baby! She has since donated her rake to the FOTUS' mama, the First Granny.
4. Hair Stuff in a Bottle: Pink Oil Moisturizer, Mane and Tail Shampoo, Hot 6 oil and Pump It Up Hair Spray. If you didn't part your hair, and apply that good ole Pink Oil Moisturizer then, you my dear have never known the joy of a scalp and hair that is so shiny that Jesus and all the apostles could see themselves in your head as they look down from heaven above. I remember when Mane and Tail became popular. I don't know if it actually made your hair thicker but, it felt like it! That stuff made more bubbles than Michael Jackson in a bubble bath...good rest his bubble bath taking soul. Hot 6 oil can be used for hot oil treatments, grease for your legs and feet, cuticle oil, suntan oil, oil lamp oil, car wax, holy oil for church services and french fry grease! Last but not least there is Pump It Up...this hairspray is so strong that you can spray your ass, lean up against a wall and be stuck there for 24 - 48 hours. But, chiiiiiiile, it used to give me the first and the last freeze curls made with my trusted Gold N Hot curling irons!
1. Gold Hoops: EVERY Black girl has owned some version of the gold hoop. Don't let me go to the beauty supply and get a fresh set of hoops. Paint them suckas with some clear nail polish and rock 'em until the gold comes off!
2. Diamonesque Studs: I had those T-Boz side burns with some Diamoniuqe studs in my ear with my Nike shirt tucked into my tennis skirt with some Reebok Classics on and some footie ball socks...couldn't tell me NOTHIN'!
3. Bangles Bitch!: Need I say more?
4. Footie Ball Socks: You were really the bomb if you had coordinating balls with your outfits! Book and Shaka Locka!
So...what did I leave off?
