Four Simple Goals to reach Before 2014

While browsing through Blogland, I came across this post from one of my blog crushes "A Beautiful Mess".  They have a really great idea.  You make a list of four simple goals that you want to accomplish before 2014.  The purpose of this challenge is to create positive, enriching habits during a time of the year when folks are not thinking about goal setting.  Think about it.  By now you've given up on many of your resolutions and a lot of your initial plans for the new year have fallen by the wayside.  So this is an opportunity to end the year the strong way!

Here are the "rules" (directly from A Beautiful Mess):

1. Choose simple goals that will make your life richer and happier on a daily basis. Choose things you may not otherwise get done but are not difficult to accomplish. 

2. Do not choose result oriented goals. Choose activity oriented goals. For example, instead of "lose 10 pounds", choose something like "eat fresh fruits and vegetables every day". Get what I'm saying? Positive actions instead of just the end result! 

3. Choose personal goals you believe will truly make your life richer just by doing them! They can be daily, weekly or one time experiences. 

4. Choose a reward for each goal as it is accomplished! It can be a small or large reward—it's up to you.

Here are my Four Simple Goals:

So...how about it?  Wanna goal set with me?  If you do, use hashtag #4SimpleGoals.  Share your experiences here with me and share them on A Beautiful Mess too!

Get your Simple Goal Setting on!

My Fall Flavor...

You know what I enjoy?  Fashion.  The only thing that stops me from being sickening fly (extremely well dressed for the lay people), is money.  I do LOVE to thrift and I purchase retail items when they're affordable.  I consider my style eclectic.  I don't like regular rules and I damn sure don't like fashion rules!  So...I wear what I like.  I wear what feels good.  That gets me a lot of sideways looks at my son's daycare.  Don't get me started on the "you're not following the rules" stares I get while traipsing down the halls of corporate America!

I see my style as an ever evolving extension of me an as artist.  I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my shit! (Shout out to E. Badu for that quote)

Here are some of my ensembles from the month of October. You'll notice a common thread through out all these photos - combat boots and my zebra purse that I use for major family outings.  That purse can carry two foot longs, 3 waters, a make-up bag, hand sanitizer, a change of clothes and a DSLR camera!  The combat boots are so comfortable and I love them!

You'll also notice that one item in each photo is thrifted.  I'm telling you, thrifting is real!  It saves my fashion life!

My trip to Zoo Atlanta with my guys in early October.

Rose is Wearing:

Black and gold studded top - Forever21+

Tribal shorts - Thrifted/Gifted

Combat Boots - Steve Madden

Long Beach Marina during my LOVELY trip to California!

Rose is Wearing:

Stripped BodyCon Dress - Walmart.com

Green Military Jacket - Thrifted

Scarf - Dillards

Combat Boots - Steve Madden

Chillin' during a work day!  Busy on my Samsung Galaxy Note 3...I LOVE that phone!

Rose is Wearing:

Color Blocked/Mock Turtleneck BodyCon Dress - styleissheonline.com

Houndstooth Blzer - Thrifted

Boots - Gianni Bini

 

RoseRedd Made It: Chick-Fil-A Inspired Chicken Nuggets

I'm a pescatarian.  So, I don't eat any meat other than seafood.  However, my husband and my son are straight up carnivores!  Well, they don't eat beef but, everything else is game!  So, I make a lot of chicken dishes.  My son really enjoys chicken nuggets.  We don't allow him to eat much fast food but, if he had his choice, he'd opt for Chick-Fil-A.  They have very well seasoned and tender chicken breasts that they serve on seedless buns with two pickles; that's their signature sandwich.  They also serve it on a biscuit for breakfast and chop it up into nuggets that are served with an array of sauces.  Not gonna lie...I miss the hell out of eating chicken from there.

Since my little guy loves their chicken, I decided to recreate it for him here at home.

Ingredients:
2 medium sized chicken breasts (chopped into 1in cubes)
1/2 packet of Hidden Valley Ranch
1 teaspoon of sea salt
1 teaspoon of dried garlic flakes (I use Badia brand, it's AMAZE) (garlic powder would work too)
1 1/2 cups of whole wheat flour (I'm sure white flour would work just as well)
1 teaspoon of paprika
1/2 teaspoon of freshly cracked black pepper
1/2 cup of frying oil (I use Filippo Berio Extra Light Olive Oil)

1.  After you chop your chicken into 1in cubes, place it in a large mixing bowl with the Hidden Valley Ranch, sea salt, paprika, black pepper and garlic flakes.  Add in the flour as well.  Make sure all the chicken is coated with seasoning and flour.

2.  In a large skillet (preferably cast iron) add frying oil. *I keep the oil to a minimum to reduce calories and fat*  Turn the heat on high. After a couple of minutes, add a little flour into the skillet to see if the oil bubbles. If it bubbles, you're ready to add your chicken, if not, the oil is not hot enough.

3.  Add chicken into skillet.  Let each side fry for about 2 minutes and then flip the pieces over.  Continue to do this until each nugget is firm and completely golden brown.  This process takes about 15 minutes.  Use your discretion.

4.  Remove chicken from the skillet and drain excess oil.  Leave it on  paper towels to drain.

If you try this recipe, share it on your fave social media outlet and use #RoseReddMadeIt.

Rose Knows: Purposeful Parenting

Yep, 'cause no other form of discipline has EVER worked right?  WTF!

The way in which we're raising Picard is completely different from the way my mama raised me.  That's okay because she and I are two different people that have had two very different sets of life experiences.  When I realized I was to become a mother, I began recalling my upbringing and deciding which strategies and tactics I would take with me into my own parenting journey.  I was surprised to realize, that I didn't want to use much of what I experienced. I didn't want to continue the tradition (especially in the African American community) of spankings/beatings and I didn't want to let my frustration guide my parenting and yell and react harshly when kids do...well...kid shit.

I guess if I had to put a title on our style of parenting it would be conscious parenting.  I really like to call it "purposeful parenting".

 Disclaimer:  My mother was/is a good mom.  She did what she thought was best and I am forever grateful for the mother that she is. As much as I'm trying to be a good mother, I know that inevitably, my little guy will grow into a man and critique and question the parenting choices that his father and are making.  Though it may sting a little...I'll encourage him to be a purposeful parent and invest time in actually learning how to be the best parent possible.  Part of that is looking at your own experiences.  

I do not allow anyone else's opinion on how children should be raised to impact my decisions for my son.  I don't spank him because I don't believe that hitting my son and acquiring his respect and obedience through fear is the best I can do as a parent.  My thinking is that - since I have been on earth 27 years longer than him, I can most certainly use my intellect and creativity to EARN his respect and obedience.  The notion that your child must respect and obey you simply because they're your child to me...is inaccurate.  Spankings for me as a child, only served to stop me from exhibiting whatever the offending behavior was in front of my mother.  It did not curtail my desire to do whatever it was.  It did not teach me WHY whatever the behavior was - was wrong. You know what DID teach me?  My mother's words.  After I got spankings, I received lengthy talks about the offending behavior.  Spanking = no lesson/Talking and Discussing = lesson  Another thing is, I only got spankings when my mom was angry.  I don't think your frustrations should be physically taken out on a child.

I don't really need to say "to each his own" because that is a given.  I already know I'm in the minority.  However, I'm sharing this because I don't think many of us are "Purposeful Parents".  I think a lot of us just do what we can to take good care of our children.  Folks will go to school and conferences to learn how to become an engineer or how to be a successful blogger and will never pick-up a parenting book or even just take a moment to evaluate how well they're doing as a parent.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes Mr. Picard takes me there and I want to pop him one!  It's definitely not EASY to parent him this way.  It would be much easier for me to hit him.   Yell at him.  Shut him down.  BUT I realize that all of those behaviors would be showing him the antithesis of what I want him to exemplify as a person.  If I give in to some of my urges and spank him, I'm not being a good communicator, I'm not exhibiting self control, creative problem solving and non-violent conflict resolution.

I am an advocate of "Purposeful Parenting". Decide that you're going to be invested in being a parent. Evaluate your parenting every once in a while and make a conscious effort to increase your parenting skills.  It benefits your child, you and your family as a whole.

Do you ever think about how you parent?

He Upgraded Me...

I met him when I was 20 years old.  I was rehearsing with my band mate and he just so happened to be there.  I remember thinking to myself...self...damn he's fine! His looks weren't the big attraction though.  He was suave, smart, funny, sexy and reserved.  He was complimenting me and speaking to me in ways, I had never experienced before.  He was refreshing.

Of course he didn't look like this 11 years ago but, he has only gotten sexier with age!

  Don't look too close heffa! LOL!

 As time passed, our relationship progressed.  We eventually became husband and wife.  That journey has been indescribable.  However, if I had to describe it I'd say, it's not unlike a long distance flight - some turbulence, some discomfort but, all the while you're floating among the clouds and basking in the beauty of it all.  One of the constant factors in our lives has been that my husband continuously exposes me to new things and educates me about an array of things.  Though I'd like to pretend I've had it all together the entirety of our marriage and courtship, that just isn't the truth.  

So yeah at 24 and 10 days, I wasn't as "together" as I thought.  He helped me get there.

He has exposed me to so much. When I think about who I could have been had I not met him, I shudder. Of course, I didn't always have an appreciation for the ways in which he was educating me.  As a prideful young woman, I didn't want to seem ignorant or handicapped in any area of life.  But, I was...and in some ways, I am.  It feels good to know that he is there to provide insight, balance and another perspective.  Not gonna lie, sometimes if feels overwhelming.  

I should have probably led with the fact that we recently took a trip to California, his home state.  It's so different from what I'm used to.  Georgia is my home.  So, to see the beautiful mountains, gorgeous beaches and sprawling suburbs with endless bicycle lanes and people OUTSIDE walking, biking, jogging and enjoying each other was inspiring.  He had asked earlier in our marriage if I'd be willing to leave Atlanta and of course I replied FUCK NO!  I was vehemently opposed to relocating...which served to narrow my world view.  I'm so grateful that we took that trip.

Okay, Venice Beach blew my mind!  Just another experience he's given me that has me forever changed!

What I'm attempting to articulate is that I am a much more well-rounded person because of my husband.  I'm forever grateful too.  It took many a moon for me to be comfortable with him wanting to be in a teaching/coaching role.  I took it as him wanting to change me or judge me.  It has really served to better me.  He allows me to do the same for him as well.  I don't know that my teaching/coaching him is as impactful for him but, I know that my life is better and it's all because I was able to let go and let him upgrade me.

Do you allow your man to coach/teach you or "upgrade" you?

Body Confidence Week - All My stomachs

I have two stomachs.  Stomach A and Stomach B.  I have two chins.  Chin 1 and Chin 2.  My thighs rub together.  I can't see my vagina (or coo-coo as I affectionately call it) when I look straight down which makes maintenance a pain in the ass.  I have spent countless hours and dollars on my outwardly appearance.  A lot of the time it was because I felt like I NEEDED to look and feel like the "easy breezy" ladies on those commercials.  NOW at 31, I am of the belief that society has dictated how we perceive ourselves to be for far too long. Our culture actively participates in body shaming.  She's too fat to be beautiful, she's pretty for a dark girl, she has "ethnic" features so she can't be Miss America...bull shit!  How many times have you compared yourself against an impossible idea of what is sexy or beautiful?  Though I am a proponent of physical health...I am also an advocate for mental health.  I don't think any of us should live in turmoil or misery simply due to our outward appearances.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  It's cliche but, it's the truth!  I define what is acceptable for my body and my image!

Recently, I discovered that this week is Body Confidence Week (#BodyConfidenceWeek).  What an uplifting and encouraging concept.  This week, start loving the skin that you're in (yet another awesome cliche)!  Love your road map stretch marks!  Embrace your bat wing arms!  Enjoy your handles of love and your double stuffed chin!  Smile big with your crooked teeth and thank the Gods for your thigh fat!  Tomorrow is not a reality for everyone.  So, love yourself today.  Be confident in your skin...right now.

I don't mean to insinuate that I don't care about what I wear and how it fits me.  OR that I don't care about the dark spots of ingrown hairs that have gone on to glory that rest under my chin and on my cheeks.  (10 air hunches for MAC concealer!) I do care about those things.  However, the most important thing about having Body Confidence is loving you even if you aren't shopping in the Junior's department.  It's about loving the you that has blemished skin and coo-coo hairs growing out of your face (wait...is that just me?).

Have unconditional love for yourself - today.  Own your lumps, bumps and curves.  Don't waste time dwelling on what you could be.  When you stop doing that, you may realize that you are EVERYTHING you want to be anyway.

#BodyConfidenceWeek

Framed Maps...You Can Do It!

Ever get tired of the run of the mill wall decor that you see in EVERYONE'S home?  I know I do!  It's easy to head out to your local strip mall or discount store and grab something that matches your decorating style.  I'm a creative so, I try and find creative and cost effective solutions for unique wall decor.  That's how I came up with these framed Atlas pages.  I kinda have a "thing" for maps and globes.

Here are my finished products!  Each frame cost $.50 from the Thrift Store.  The Atlas was free and the card stock was about $.25 a page.  So, this whole project $2.25!  Yeah!

Dissecting the Details: October

DISSECTING the DETAILS

"I'm not an expert on anything but, I know something about almost everything...or I'd like to think so". - Rochelle

Here are some OCTOBER Details: 

Halloween is on Thursday, October 31st this year.  If you decorate your pumpkins artfully, they can double as both Halloween and general Fall decor.  Head to your LSS (local scrapbook store), Hobby Lobby or even Michael's to find chalk board paint ( I LOVE Krylon.  See HERE) and neat appliques (like this iron-on star. Just apply with hot glue) or stickers to add to your pumpkin!  Don't even get me started on bails of hay!  They're cheap and they scream FALL!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Every year we see the pink ribbons and we listen to the heart wrenching stories of women and men that have lost their battles with Breast Cancer due to late detection. There is a simple exam that you can do to check your breasts for abnormalities.  The infographic  below is pretty great.  You should have a CANDID conversation with your physician about your family's history with cancer.  Also, you should educate yourself about this disease.  Visit:  www.cancer.gov

October 1st is the first day for open enrollment into the Affordable Care Act.  There is a lot that folks don't understand about this new law.  There is NO REASON to be ignorant about it!  PLEASE go visit: www.healthcare.gov.  If you know someone with no internet and they have questions, have them call: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week: 1-800-318-2596 (TTY: 1-855-889-4325)

Hope this was helpful and please feel free to dissect more details in the comment section!