Hello you blog reader you! Recently, I had an encounter with someone I truly admire and respect. She wrapped my entire life in a nice box with a bow on it and gave it to me! In other words, she gave me my life! I'm a budding self-taught graphic designer. Therefore, I'm constantly comparing myself to those that have earned a graphic design degree. I only do this because I have insecurities about the fact that I spent money on an education degree and can't afford to go to design school.
That's the back story.
So, one day, a friend of mine and I were looking at some design work on 99Designs (awesome site, if you need a designer, check 'em out). There is this designer that wins a lot of the competitions. I stumbled across her while looking through a gallery. The more that I realized that she was winning, the more I began to doubt my own skill. I mean, my designs are better than hers! My design aesthetic is better than hers! AND I didn't even go to school for this! How can she be so wack yet, win all these competitions and money!?!
This is where the story picks up.
My friend said "Why are you hating"? I looked at her like she said my mama was fat. She repeated herself "Why are you hating"? I replied that I wasn't hating and I asked her if she saw the same designs that I saw? She said that she had noticed the lack of professionalism in some the lady's designs but, she didn't need to attack her to point that out. I felt so defensive and frustrated! I began explaining that I wasn't hating, I was critiquing. But, the more I talked, the more I realized, I was hating. There is a difference between "This bitch's designs are wack"! and "She needs to select better typography and work on the composition of her designs". I was hating. I was spewing hate. I wasn't trying to figure out what she was doing right, and what I was doing wrong. I didn't even know this chick and I was hating on her like she was a sworn enemy of mine.
I do that shit a lot.
I'm going to stop it. Here is how I'm going to do it.
1. Identify the feelings that make me want to hate. Is it jealously I'm feeling? Anxiety? Envy?
2. Make a conscious decision to look within before searching for faults in others.
3. Learn to appreciate the positive in folks.
4. Abstain from hating ass activities with hating ass people.
5. Admit that I have hater tendencies.
Great post! I love how you wrote it. I believe we all hate sometimes on somebody but I love the self reflections! Stop Hatin'!!
ReplyDeleteLovely! A lot of people wouldn't admit this much less write about it. I wonder if I have hater tendencies? Hmmmm
ReplyDelete#blmgirl
Yesss! This was an awesome post Rochelle...Realness!
ReplyDeletewww.fancyhatingcurves.com
LOL
We all do it from time to time. It's a natural tendency actually. Just like we have to fight against sin.... we hate to fight against hating! LOL
ReplyDeleteEverybody hates at some point. The important thing is we recognize it, and do what is required to change our behaviors. I've been a a few times, but at least we're real enough with ourselves to admit it, RIGHT?!
ReplyDeleteYESSSSS Rochelle!!! I love this post and the honesty involved. It takes a lot to admit that esp. as a woman!
ReplyDelete#respect it takes a big person to admit this!
ReplyDeleteI love that you saw error in your ways. As a designer, it's so easy to cross that thin line from critique to almost jealousy. Yes, her skillset may not have been up to par with your own, but her clients wanted her aesthetic. What I love most about design is that there is room for all of us, especially when we're willing to consistently grow. Great post!
ReplyDeletehttp://static-romance.org
Super words, Rochelle! You're a brave and strong woman to admit this publicly! What I've seen of your design work, I think you're amazing. You don't need that degree, you have amazing creativity and flair all by yourself! (I have an un-used education degree, too).
ReplyDeleteWow! Way to face those shadows! Btw. I agree with the above comments, your graphic design skills are pretty awesome!
ReplyDeleteWell said!
ReplyDeleteI LIVE!!!! I had the same thing happen to me today. I am usually "there is enough for everybody to win" but today I hit the ceiling when I saw a new blog hit the vitual streets and it was PRETTY as hell. I was like " I can't win, I can't beat these white girls, these lifestyle bloggers with teams and money and connection and all types of shit." My bestie promptly said "Chrissy shut the hell up and go blog...CONSISTENTLY...do that first." One has gotta have real friends in their corners to call him or her on their BS every now and again. Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDelete