Tinder Roni...

Let me tell you about my latest foray into Tinder.  Tinder is an online dating app.  This may be a little confusing as some of you may know that I'm married.  Let me clear up some of that fogginess.  Yes, I'm happily married.  However, I'm bi-sexual.  My husband is aware (has been since day one) and is very supportive.  No, my life isn't a non-stop orgy fest.  You wouldn't believe how many people think that just because you're bi-sexual that you must also be a nymphomaniac. Sigh...  Anyway, I digress.

With everything that has been going on in my life, I've started to realize that I don't want to live in some world where I cannot be truly myself.  I miss (romantic) female companionship and so, I decided to actively seek a "girlfriend".  I was too afraid before.  I didn't want judgement and ridicule but, who isn't judged or ridiculed for something?

Now, as you can imagine there are some impediments that prevent me from having a "normal" experience online.
1. I have to disclose that I am married.
2. I have to explain that my husband and I ARE NOT seeking a polyamorous situation.
3. I have to find someone willing to come third in my life after my husband and son.

Not an easy task by far.  What complicates matters further is that since I work in the city, and live in suburbia, I'm not going to be hitting the nightlife.  I could on the weekends but, honestly, that's not my scene.  I live in the Bible Belt where my lifestyle is considered taboo.  Even though, Atlanta is supposedly the "Gay Mecca", my lifestyle is still considered unconventional by most people's standards.

So...I created a Tinder profile.  I added photos, I selected my age and gender preferences and I'm out there. What's cool about the app is that you only know someone likes you, if you've liked them.  At least you're not embarrassed or left with that "hung out to dry" feeling.  So far, I've met one lady that is in a relationship (one that was very much conventional and not open) and a host of other ladies that for some reason or another didn't pan out for various reasons.

I did meet one lady outside of Tinder.  I knew her from another time in my life.  She and I didn't work out because...well...I think I'm fire and she's ice.  I may have been too much for her! Lol!

I know I'm not alone.  I know there are other women in situations like mine.  I'd love to meet them and learn about how they navigate through this maze.

I'm sure to some of you this seems like juicy gossip. LOL!  This is my real life though.  So, I guess if you share this based on the gossip factor, it's cool...at least it's being shared.  I can probably guess that some of you are thinking "you're married just be content".  It would probably be very convenient to deny that I'm attracted to women and not pursue any type of relationship.  However, it would also be a colossal lie!  #1 rule of self-preservation: DON'T LIE TO YOURSELF!  From what I've observed of life...repression and suppression lead to perversion.

So, I'm on Tinder...just swiping away....