It is totally okay to want friends. It's okay to long for that kind of companionship that bolsters your self confidence and gives you allies that you know you can lean on at any time. It's okay to want to share secrets, experiences and laughs...heartaches. It's okay to sit on the phone not really talking about anything but, saying so much. All of it is okay.
But...I'm not a good friend. I don't call or come over or hang-out...well, not much. I don't inquire about daily activities and muse over milestones. I don't share in the harsh times and revel in the successes. Well...not frequently.
I don't like to hug. I don't like when someone is laughing and they pat you on the back. I don't like when people touch you while they are speaking to you. You know like "Girl that show is so funny...ha,ha,ha" *insert shoulder tap* I don't like those things. If I'm comfortable with a person, I don't mind but, I'm only comfortable with a select few. I tolerate the rest.
I have been asked many times what it is about not wanting to be too close to people. What I have surmised after many hours of contemplation (maybe like one hour) is becoming close to people puts them in striking distance of your heart. I don't have time for that...heartache, drama, nonsensical foolery...no time. I have friends. They work with me. They don't complain (well most don't) and they don't judge (at least I don't think they do). And I appreciate that.
But, you know what? Sometimes I feel jealous of all the sister-friend relationships I see proudly displayed on Facebook. There are BFFs and BFFFs and BFFFFFFs...and that's special. It is. They hang out and say hi and I love you for no reason and co-sign on each other's whatever i.e. status updates, meme postings, likes...etc. That seems awesome...for them. But, they're doing the work to have those relationships. I know I'm not going to do the work. Eh...what are you gonna do?
So, on some days...like today...I'm longing for one of the popular girls to invite me to eat at their table. So, we can become BFFFFFFs, have slumber parties, share clothes, and secrets...and FB memes.
But...I'm not a good friend. I don't call or come over or hang-out...well, not much. I don't inquire about daily activities and muse over milestones. I don't share in the harsh times and revel in the successes. Well...not frequently.
I don't like to hug. I don't like when someone is laughing and they pat you on the back. I don't like when people touch you while they are speaking to you. You know like "Girl that show is so funny...ha,ha,ha" *insert shoulder tap* I don't like those things. If I'm comfortable with a person, I don't mind but, I'm only comfortable with a select few. I tolerate the rest.
I have been asked many times what it is about not wanting to be too close to people. What I have surmised after many hours of contemplation (maybe like one hour) is becoming close to people puts them in striking distance of your heart. I don't have time for that...heartache, drama, nonsensical foolery...no time. I have friends. They work with me. They don't complain (well most don't) and they don't judge (at least I don't think they do). And I appreciate that.
But, you know what? Sometimes I feel jealous of all the sister-friend relationships I see proudly displayed on Facebook. There are BFFs and BFFFs and BFFFFFFs...and that's special. It is. They hang out and say hi and I love you for no reason and co-sign on each other's whatever i.e. status updates, meme postings, likes...etc. That seems awesome...for them. But, they're doing the work to have those relationships. I know I'm not going to do the work. Eh...what are you gonna do?
So, on some days...like today...I'm longing for one of the popular girls to invite me to eat at their table. So, we can become BFFFFFFs, have slumber parties, share clothes, and secrets...and FB memes.
Girl u are funny.. Truth is the best medicine! We feel this way in 6th grade and at 30 yrs old.
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