Ratchet Snack List

Hey Rose Heads!  Are you having a good week?  My week got off to a bumpy start but, I'm making the best of it because this here life is too damn short! 

Sooo, earlier this week, I was venting to the #BLM ladies (Bloggers Like Me) about how this guy at my job was giving me the "oh no" face because I was eating Flamming Hot Cheetos and drinking a Pineapple Fanta.  I wanted him to let me eat my RATCHET SNACK in peace!  I mean dang!  So, that got my wheels turning and I decided to create short lists of all my fave RATCHET SNACK categories!

1. Fritos:  Perfect for dipping, chili's and more!  Hell, you KNOW it was a ratchet person that came up with a damn Frito Pie!  The hot breath advisory makes this perfect for...Ratchet Rating 10! 

2.  Flamming Hot Cheetos:  Cheese and spiciness PLUS it has the lick your fingers treat at the end.  Ratchet approved.

3.   Funyuns:  I mean, it's a chip version of an onion ring.  Ratchet stamp of approval. 

4.  Hot Fries:  Every candy lady, corner store, bodega or side sto' has these.  Spicy and ghetto in a bag.  Ratchet Certified.

5.  Flamming Hot Funyuns:  I mean...it's the baby of Flamming Hot Cheetos and Funyuns.  I bet Flamming Hot Cheetos totally seduced Funyuns.  Hot snack sex...Ratchet XXX.

6.  Cool Ranch Doritos:  A ranch corn chip.  Ratchet bells, ratchet bells, ratchet all the way!

1.  Sunflower seeds:  Anything you chew first only to spit out...definitely a ratchet classic.

2.  Peanuts (especially if they're boiled):  Country and Ratchet.  A hybrid ratchet snack.

3.  Pork Rinds or Cracklin's:  I don't eat no parts of the pig but, growing up, these were in my tummy quite frequently.  AND there was hot sauce involved.  Ratchet, ratchet everywhere and not a drop to drink.

4.  Fiddle Faddle or Crunch and Munch or the Carmel popcorn in that big ass tub of popcorn that you get during the holidays:  Popcorn with something sweet on top...that shit is not gourmet.  It's ratchet.

1.  Any type of Ramen or Oodles of Noodles:  Anything that costs $0.10 a pack...ratchet.  But I WILL put some Texas Pete hot sauce on them and SUPER MAN that bowl...Now watch me Youuuuuuuuu! Any food that makes you burst into a rap song...it's ratchet.

2.  Banquet Pot pie:  Meat and veggies in a crust with gravy.  Yeah...ratchet.  PLUS...they'll like $0.50.

3.  Bar S Hot dogs:  Again, I don't eat meat but, growing up...I would fry these up, get some bread with some onions and mustard.  Whoa Lord!  Help me Moses!  RAT-CHET-TA!

4.  Frozen Hot wings:  Super, triple, sigh...Twinkle, twinkle, ratchet snack...how I wonder where you at!

1.  Air Heads:  Boy!  That mystery white flavor!  Make you do the Tootsie Roll (don't act like you don't remember that dance).  Sweet and Ratchet.

2.  Now and Laters:  You already know "Red" is the best flavor! Chewy and ratchet.

3.  Sweet or Sour Gummy Worms:  Ratchet classic. 

4.  Lemon Heads:  If you know how to make the box whistle after you're done eating them...then, you're ratchet royalty!

1.  Pineapple Fanta.

2.  Orange Fanta.

3.  Grape Fanta.

4.  Tahitian Treat.

All ratchet because they are fruit flavored.  Raaaaaaaaa (take a breath) aaaatchet!

What are your favorite ratchet snacks?