Some OOTDs

Hey Rose Heads!  So, I'm not the best when it comes to taking photos of what I'm wearing.  However, one day while was perusing through the posts in the Bloggers Like Me group on FB, a blogger named Karen was talking about her month of October 30 Day Remix challenge.  I thought that was a smart idea!  Basically, you wear what you have in your closet and try to mix things up a bit and pair different items together to get more looks than what you've been rocking.  Since I'm on a perpetual budget, I liked that idea.  So, everyday, I try to post what I'm wearing on to Instagram.  I'm so proud of myself!  BUT...I neglect to post it here. So...here is October's outfit parade...so far...and I've missed a couple of days...don't judge.

Alright, this is me at work...today on 10/10.  I wanted to do a neutral look so, I paired a brown A-line skirt with a blouse and a brown blazer.  I paid $4 for the blazer and $5 for the skirt.  The necklace is a hand me down from my mama.  "She get it from her mama"...remember that song?

This is me yesterday, 10/9.  I bought that patterned blouse for $1 at the $1 consignment sale where I met Keren of "Two Stylish Kays".  I love that blog!  I got the shoes from Whitney James' store.  You know Nic's Picks...another good blog!

This was from 10/8.  I got that dress from Whitney's store too! The purple-ish fuscia colored pumps are suede and they're Jessica Simpson.  I puffy heart her man!

This is me on 10/6.  Isn't the bride beautiful!  We've known each other since college.  I actually sang two songs for her wedding.  It was lovely.  The dress is Calvin Klein.

This is me on 10/5.  Another thrifted blazer that I got for the low-low!  The stone washed jeans are from F21.  The pumps are from Target.  They're what I like to call "Black girl nude" they match my skin tone so well!

This is me on 10/4.  I got that scarf for $1!  The pants are F21.  The blazer is from Old Navy from waaay back in the day.  The shoes are Gianni Binni.  They're suede and have a chunky heel. LOVE!

This is me on 10/2.  I bought those pants from the ShapELy Elouise online boutique.  Check them out via my "Shopping Here is Awesome" link.

Well...that's it.  I love this challenge!  Why don't you play along?

ALL These Things...

Hello Rose Heads!  I hope you enjoyed Mothering Week as much as I did!  I think it went really well.  I didn't realize how much actually goes in to mothering a child and balancing a family.  I just "did what needed to be done".  Now, I realize just how all encompassing it can be...and I'm proud of myself and of you for doing what you do for your families everyday.

Today, I want to talk about ALL THESE THINGS I'm doing and how frustrating it can be trying to build a couple of brands and chase life, outside the box.

My number one priority is my family.  Taking care of my husband, my son and our home is the MOST important thing in my life.  Nothing comes before it...nothing ever will (and if it does, it will be eliminated!).  Since we bought our home, I'm DIY-ing everything, in terms of decorating.  So, since I work 40 hours a week, it's hard trying to decorate, and do the cleaning and cooking and still have time for other things.  I'm struggling trying to find balance. 

For now, I've just decided to do one project per week.  For instance, I bought a very Americana set of table and chairs off of Craigslist.  I decided that I would sand and paint this set of table and chairs.  HOWEVER, in order to do that right...it takes time.  So, that's my primary project for now.  My husband really wants it to be done but...it's going to be done when it's done! LOL!

My Bachelor's of Arts degree in Educational Studies was once a BA in Interdisciplinary Studies K-8.  Once upon a time before I had Picard, I wanted nothing more than to help sculpt and mold little minds into beautiful vessels ready to help develop our world.  NOW...the rose tint has come off the old spectacles and I'm less enamored with the teaching profession.  So, I'm finishing up my last few credit hours to get this "Educational Studies" degree.  I feel bad for accumulating all this debt for nothing.  BUT...I know in my heart that being a teacher just because I started out with that is a disservice not only to the children but, to myself.  Never the less, that homework and those assignments are real and I MUST be on point with my game to get through this.  The photo below is from my LAST day of in-class visits with the kiddos...thank you MOSES!

Two Tears in my Bucket is not only my crafting blog, it's my fledgling greeting card, invitation and gift business.  Currently, I have an Etsy store but, I'm going to open another online store front just to have more access to a wider audience.  This isn't that time consuming because whenever I make a card, I take photos of it.  So, it's just about making sure I'm in my studio...nightly generating fresh product.  Additionally, crafting companies such as the ones that make paper, ribbon, bling, felt, stamps, etc. have what is called "Design Teams".  These DTs (for short) create projects for these companies using their product to give their costumers ideas about how this product can be used in their creations.  At present, I serve on two stamp company's teams, a paper and such team, a challenge blog's team and a team that scouts crafting talent.  If I want to be considered legit in this industry...it's a must that I do well on these teams.  It just comes with the territory.

What Rose Redd Said just so happened to come about because I wanted to share more about my life than just crafts and I also wanted to hold myself accountable for how I carried myself as a woman.  I think I had become too burdened with life's details to pay any real attention to myself.  This blog motivates me to always include myself in the big picture.  Now, I want to share and do more on this blog!  It's not just about fashion for me.  It's about the total woman and I want to convey that to my readers.  I want people to come here for SUBSTANCE...not just for fashion pics...not that I don't love a good fashion blog!  I just want more for this space.

SINGING...is. my. life.  Music is just as much a part of my as my hands and feet are.  Over the next few months, I'm going to record a little something...just for me.  I love to write and sing and perform.  Stardom is not required.  I just want to share this music so...even if I NEVER sleep...I'm scratching this one off the old "to-do" list.  Check me out (purely listening only...the vid isn't good).

So...I'm striving for balance.  Because it may seem like a lot but, I can't just stop.  I've got to make all these things work. 

Mothering Week - Day Five...I Can't KEEP Your Kids...

Hello Rose Heads!  Welcome to Day Five of Mothering Week here at What Rose Redd Said.  The purpose of MOTHERING WEEK is to provide a little insight, guidance and perspective on what it's like to be a modern mother of the 21 century.

Part of being a good mother is knowing when to say NO!  The subject matter today, isn't to be taken literally.  It's figurative.  No, I can't keep your kids... let you borrow something, make something for you, loan you money or do everything in the world just for you.  We have to say no because we need the ENERGY when we have to say yes.  Therefore, it's a necessary, albeit uncomfortable task!

Here is a list of polite ways to tell someone NO:

1.  I'm sorry but, I just can't help you out right now.

2.  Maybe some other time.

3.  Not today.

4.  I'm not up to it today.

5.  I'd love to help but, it's not a good time for me.

6.  My plate is full, I can't take on anymore.

7.  Perhaps you should try_______.

8.  I don't want to make any more commitments that I can't keep.

Mothering Week - Day Four...Me Time is THE Time

Hello Rose Heads!  Hello Rose Heads!  Welcome to Day Four of Mothering Week here at What Rose Redd Said.  The purpose of MOTHERING WEEK is to provide a little insight, guidance and perspective on what it's like to be a modern mother of the 21 century.

In my not so humble opinion EVERYONE needs "Me" time.  You know, time where you can escape the realities of your life and do something that you enjoy to pamper yourself.  BUT (there's always one of those)...MOTHERS need me time more than most!  Mamas, it's so important that you carve some time out of your schedule on a regular basis for...down time.  Let me tell you something, it's not selfish!  As my mother would say, "If you don't protect the Goose, the Goose can't lay anymore golden eggs".  You may be scratching your head at my mama and her southern sayings but, all that means is...if you don't take care of YOU, YOU can't take care of THEM.  Period.  <------

Well, alright, now I understand that for most of us, money is an issue.  HOWEVER (comma), you can do low budget things to reduce your stress, pamper yourself and spend some time remembering the woman you are outside of your mothering and wifey (spousey) duties.  Uh, oh...what's this...it's a LIST!  Check it out!

Low Cost ME TIME activities:

1.  Go to a store you KNOW you can't buy anything out of and try on everything on your wish list.

2.  Go somewhere quiet and read.

3.  Take yourself to lunch (there are ALWAYS lunch specials).

4.  If you can't buy a high ticket item, grab some lipstick or a pair of earrings.

5.  Make a homemade face mask and give yourself a facial.

6.  Turn on some music and DANCE...by yourself.

7.  Go to the park and take pictures of nature.

8.  Give your self a mani/pedi.

9.  People watch.

10.  Go thrifting!

11.  Go to see a $1 movie.

12.  Daydream.

*Now remember, this list is a list of things that are low cost ways to have some ME TIME.  This is not a complete annotated list of all the tips, pointers and advice about being a mommy!  If you have any questions or want to add some things...leave them in the comments below!

COME BACK TOMORROW FOR DAY FOUR OF MOTHERING WEEK!  The topic is "I Can't Keep Your Kids!"

 

ALSO...SEND ALL THE NEW MOMMIES OVER!  I HAVE AN AWESOME GIVEAWAY FOR THEM! 

Mothering Week - Day Three...a GIVE AWAY and What Kind of Mama are YOU?

Hello Rose Heads!  Welcome to Day Three of Mothering Week here at What Rose Redd Said.  The purpose of MOTHERING WEEK is to provide a little insight, guidance and perspective on what it's like to be a modern mother of the 21 century.

I know you're interested in the GIVE AWAY right?  Well, of course you are! Don't worry it's at the bottom of this post.  Now, this is where you tell all your EXPECTING mom friends or ladies with toddlers to head on over to the What Rose Redd Said blog so that they can win three AWESOME books that are GREAT TOOLS for Mothering..."What to Expect When You're Expecting", "What to Expect The First Year" and "What to Expect the Second Year".

Now...moving along to today's topic "What Kind of Mama are YOU?"

Before I had Picard, I had many delusions of grandeur.  Delusions like I would never allow him to watch television, he would always be fashionably dressed and neat, my house would never have toys and miscellaneous children's items strewn all over and my husband and I would provide nothing but the best educational experiences for our budding genius.  WELL...you know what they say about the best laid plans (I know I've said that recently...but, that's on cliche that's worth repeating)!  When he finally got here and I got settled into my mothering style, I realized that your mothering style is important and sets the tone for the relationship you have with your child.  I've have plenty of time to sit back and observe different mothering styles and I think there are four basic categories.  Now, of course everyone doesn't fit into one of these categories.  This is only my opinion!  See if you fit into one of these...

BUBBLE MOM:

Bubble Mom is a member of Baby Center, Cafe Mom, What to Expect and any other mommy on-line community.  She regularly checks the American Academy of Pediatrics' site and follows whatever new guidelines, suggestions or tips that comes along without deviating or forming her own opinion.  Her children drink soy milk, she sends her children to organic friendly, sustainable schools, she uses organic cotton cloth diapers for her babies, she believes that her children should express themselves at all costs and doesn't allow her children to be vaccinated.  She and her children live in a bubble in hopes they won't be contaminated by the fatty, sugary, dirty and gritty world.

RULER MOM:

Ruler mom has a list for everything and everyone in the house.  The lists are on the refrigerator, on a cork board in the hall and probably on her cell phone too.  Her belief is that if everything is organized to a "T" then, there will be no unexpected situations or chaos.  Her children do everything on a schedule and seldom deviate from the plan.  She also has a list of staunch rules that everyone must abide by; not just for the house either.  There are car rules, restaurant and shopping rules as well.  Ruler mom makes a lot of decisions for the children and doesn't expect her authority over the children to be challenged.

FRIEND MOM:

Friend mom wants her children to view her as an older friend that is simply there to help provide for them.  She allows her children to make a lot of decisions on their own.  She allows her children to debate with her as opposed to allowing her word to be final.  Friend mom is flexible on what the children eat, what time they go to bed and when friends can come over.  She attempts to gain her children's respect through a more passive friend role as opposed to an authoritative parenting role.

OLD SCHOOL MOM:

Old school mom is equal parts "Bubble", "Ruler" and "Friend".  She is concerned about current trends in child safety, health and nutrition. However, not so concerned that she will abandon something she feels is right for her child simply because someone says it's not.  She has a set of rules that she would like for her family to abide by.  However, the rules grow and change as the children grow and change (that eating only in the kitchen/dining room will probably always be a rule though).  She is approachable when her children need to share something with her.  However, she is not going to tolerate even so much as an inkling of disrespect or mistreatment from anyone in her home.  Old School mom is more balanced.

I think at some point, I've been all of these types of moms but, Old School mom is my neutral starting point always.  What kind of mama are you?

Don't forget to enter my giveaway and send your friends to enter too!  Thanks for stopping by!

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Mothering Week - Day Two...There has GOT to be an Easier Way...

Good morning Rose Heads!  Welcome to Day Two of Mothering Week here at What Rose Redd Said.  The purpose of MOTHERING WEEK is to provide a little insight, guidance and perspective on what it's like to be a modern mother of the 21 century.

After Picard was about three months old I began to fall into a routine.  The routine went something like...put Picard down at 10pm, wake up to nurse him at 1am, 3am and again at 5am.  Get him dressed and ready to go to the baby sitter.  Get myself dressed.  Drive to work, work, drive to the sitter (which was 35 miles away from my house), drive home, cook, try to clean, nurse and bathe Picard...and repeat.  I. was. miserable.  Who can keep up with that kind of pace!?!  I would often times get angry with Terence, my husband because he wasn't lightening my load.  BUT...I didn't give him any specific direction as to what I needed from him.  I didn't reach out to my mom, his mom or anyone else...except to complain.  I had a horrible case of Postpartum depression and I was generally doing waaaaay too much!

Eventually (about a year and a half later), I started thinking...There has GOT to be an EASIER Way...

Slowly but, surely I started tweaking how I did things around the house, how I took care of Picard and how I dealt with my husband.

Turns out...THERE IS AN EASIER WAY...

1.  YOU define your standard of cleanliness.  If you're busting your behind to keep your home spic and span all the time, take a time-out to evaluate the level of cleanliness that is tolerable and create a schedule to maintain that.  For instance:  During the week - I make sure to cook and clean the kitchen.  I don't allow any toys to be left about and I make sure Picard's bathroom stays tidy because it doubles as the guest bath.  I also make sure Picard's room is clean because he's only three and he needs his space to always be functional.  I let our master go as well as the master bath.  I deep clean (mop, dust, wash, fold, disinfect) on Saturday mornings.

2.  Learn how to make meals S-T-R-E-T-C-H!  You can not possibly work full-time and cook every single day.  If you do, you'll look like you have a farm and fifteen kids!  Take some time on Sunday for weekly meal planning.  I like to make two "left over" meals a week.  That way, I only cook five days instead of all seven.

3.  TELL YOU HUSBAND/SPOUSE WHAT YOU NEED HELP WITH!  Lay it out there in plain sight!  Start a system and give them some chores/tasks to do.  Remind them of the system and let them know without them...the balance of the house will fail.

5.  Buy multi-purpose clothes.  If you can't afford a huge dry-cleaning bill, buy pieces that serve multiple purposes that you can wash yourself so that you can wipe runny noses AND look sharp while doing it.  Don't make it hard on yourself by wearing fabrics that you can't afford to ruin, replace or dry-clean.

6.  It's okay to turn on Dora, Diego, Yo Gabba Gabba or whatever else for an hour while you're cooking, cleaning or working.  Don't beat yourself up about it.  One hour isn't going to kill your kid or lessen their IQ.

7.  Have late night, date night.  You don't always have to leave home to have a date.  When the kid(s) are asleep, sip some wine together, cook something yummy, watch a movie or play a video game.  Remember, it's about spending time together...not spending money.

8.  TAKE A DAY OFF!  You will never stop being a mother and hopefully, you'll never stop being a wife/spouse.  BUT...you can stop being a chef, maid, seamstress, gardener, tutor and doctor for a few hours.  Do it EVERY WEEK!  NO EXCUSES!

*Now remember, this list is a list of things that helped me to transition into a more efficient way of mothering.  This is not a complete annotated list of all the tips, pointers and advice about being a mommy!  If you have any questions or want to add some things...leave them in the comments below!

COME BACK TOMORROW FOR DAY THREE OF MOTHERING WEEK!  The topic is "What Kind of MAMA are YOU?"

ALSO...SEND ALL THE NEW MOMMIES OVER TOMORROW!  I HAVE AN AWESOME GIVEAWAY FOR THEM! 

Mothering Week...Day One...No One Told me THAT...

Hello Rose Heads!  Welcome to DAY ONE of MOTHERING WEEK here at What Rose Redd Said.  The purpose of MOTHERING WEEK is to provide a little insight, guidance and perspective on what it's like to be a modern mother of the 21 century.

When I became pregnant I had so many ideas racing through my mind.  Picard wasn't planned and I was very unsure about a lot of things.  The first thing I was concerned about was the relationship I had with Terence, my husband.  We had not been married a full three years when we discovered Picard was on the way.  I wondered if we would still have time for each other.  I wondered if he would still find me sexually attractive and I wondered if we would fall out of love.  Those may seem like very selfish thoughts but, since I was so used to he and I ...that was all I knew, I was scared of loosing our bond.  Next, I began to think about all the things that being a mother entails - unconditional loving, cleaning, cooking, washing, bathing, teaching, feeding and so much more!  I began to reminisce about my childhood and how my mother raised me.  I had made up in my mind that I would never be as good of a mother as she and the doubts and fears piled up on me like so many concrete blocks.  

What was my answer to all of these open ended questions?  Books.  Movies. Web Sites and lots of questions asked of the veteran moms I knew.  You know what I eventually realized about mid-2nd trimester?  No one knew what the hell the "magic formula" was.  There are endless sources of information about pregnancy and how to parent.  Most have at the very least some good tidbits of information.  But, at the end of the day, I wanted practical, no holes bared, raw truth about what was going to happen to my baby, my body and my marriage.

Given my experience (of three years), here is my list of No one told me THAT(s)...

PREGNANCY:

1.  Maternity clothes are EXPENSIVE!  If you can be comfortable sizing up in conventional clothes, do that for as long as you can before investing so much in maternity clothes.

2.  Not everyone has strange cravings, not everyone's nose spreads, not everyone's neck gets dark, not everyone gets stretch marks, not everyone has morning sickness.  Don't heed the horror stories.  Live your pregnancy in positivity...not fear. You're not going to turn into a grotesque pregnant monster!

3.  Nothing gets rid of or prevents stretch marks except for genetics.  So save the olive oil, cocoa butter, Shea butter, Crisco or Mother's Friend money.  If you had the stretchies before being preggo, you're probably going to acquire more.  Embrace it and move on.  They will lighten up.

4.  Child birth is painful but, you can do it. 

5.  Those classes work!  Take parenting, birthing, infant CPR and more!  Learn, learn, learn!  Don't listen to those people that say learn as you go!  There is NOTHING wrong with educating yourself.

POSTPARTUM:

1.  Try to latch your baby as soon as they are born if you're going to breastfeed (which I truly hope your are!).  Babies need Boobies! 

2.  Baby Blues and PostPartum depression are real.  They can happen to you.  Educate yourself and understand what could happen before it does happen.  That way, you'll know what it is and know how to get help.  This is not something that only certain women get.  It's universal!

3.  There are going to be different smells, different feelings and different appearances to your lady parts.  The doctor will of course advise you of all that but, I just want you to be prepared.  No one told me that stuff was for real.

4.  Enjoy the help that they give you at the hospital but, it's best to keep baby by your side so you all can start a routine.  Once you leave that hospital, things are going to get EXTRA real!

5.  Everyone will want to visit you and your new addition.  They're going to be very helpful for a while and then, they will go home and life will pick-up where it left off.  So, when people ask you what you need...TELL THEM!  You need to take all the help you can get!  DON'T BE MODEST!

6.  Swaddling is super important.  Learn how to swaddle your baby.  It keeps their body temp. stable and it reminds them of the womb. 

RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR MATE:

1.  You need to LET YOUR MATE HELP!  Just because he doesn't do feeding time or bath time like you would doesn't mean he's going to break the baby!  Don't shut him out or push him away.  You will not only alienate him from you...but, your child as well.

2.  When you can make love, make love.  Remember, you have to be a multi-tasker now.  You have to still show your mate that he is important to you.  Maintaining that intimacy even though you feel frumpy, milky, tired and disheveled will help you remember your sexy fine-ness and help him to feel like you need him.

3.  When you need a break...take one.  Don't bargain with hubby or take on more than you can.  If you do that...you'll have a NUCLEAR melt-down.  Let him have some alone time with the baby/kids so that you can spend some time doing something FOR YOU!

4.  Continue to communicate your needs, desires, joys, failures, successes and aspirations.  This is your life mate.  Your kids will grow up and lead their own lives.  Remember to spend a little time each day appreciating your mate.

*Now remember, this list is a list of things no one really told me.  This is not a complete annotated list of all the tips, pointers and advice about having a baby!  If you have any questions or want to add some things...leave them in the comments below!

Come Back Tomorrow for DAY TWO of Mothering week.  The topic for tomorrow is..."There Has GOT to be an EASIER way..."