Good morning Rose Heads! Welcome to Day Two of Mothering Week here at What Rose Redd Said. The purpose of MOTHERING WEEK is to provide a little insight, guidance and perspective on what it's like to be a modern mother of the 21 century.
After Picard was about three months old I began to fall into a routine. The routine went something like...put Picard down at 10pm, wake up to nurse him at 1am, 3am and again at 5am. Get him dressed and ready to go to the baby sitter. Get myself dressed. Drive to work, work, drive to the sitter (which was 35 miles away from my house), drive home, cook, try to clean, nurse and bathe Picard...and repeat. I. was. miserable. Who can keep up with that kind of pace!?! I would often times get angry with Terence, my husband because he wasn't lightening my load. BUT...I didn't give him any specific direction as to what I needed from him. I didn't reach out to my mom, his mom or anyone else...except to complain. I had a horrible case of Postpartum depression and I was generally doing waaaaay too much!
Eventually (about a year and a half later), I started thinking...There has GOT to be an EASIER Way...
Slowly but, surely I started tweaking how I did things around the house, how I took care of Picard and how I dealt with my husband.
Turns out...THERE IS AN EASIER WAY...
1. YOU define your standard of cleanliness. If you're busting your behind to keep your home spic and span all the time, take a time-out to evaluate the level of cleanliness that is tolerable and create a schedule to maintain that. For instance: During the week - I make sure to cook and clean the kitchen. I don't allow any toys to be left about and I make sure Picard's bathroom stays tidy because it doubles as the guest bath. I also make sure Picard's room is clean because he's only three and he needs his space to always be functional. I let our master go as well as the master bath. I deep clean (mop, dust, wash, fold, disinfect) on Saturday mornings.
2. Learn how to make meals S-T-R-E-T-C-H! You can not possibly work full-time and cook every single day. If you do, you'll look like you have a farm and fifteen kids! Take some time on Sunday for weekly meal planning. I like to make two "left over" meals a week. That way, I only cook five days instead of all seven.
3. TELL YOU HUSBAND/SPOUSE WHAT YOU NEED HELP WITH! Lay it out there in plain sight! Start a system and give them some chores/tasks to do. Remind them of the system and let them know without them...the balance of the house will fail.
5. Buy multi-purpose clothes. If you can't afford a huge dry-cleaning bill, buy pieces that serve multiple purposes that you can wash yourself so that you can wipe runny noses AND look sharp while doing it. Don't make it hard on yourself by wearing fabrics that you can't afford to ruin, replace or dry-clean.
6. It's okay to turn on Dora, Diego, Yo Gabba Gabba or whatever else for an hour while you're cooking, cleaning or working. Don't beat yourself up about it. One hour isn't going to kill your kid or lessen their IQ.
7. Have late night, date night. You don't always have to leave home to have a date. When the kid(s) are asleep, sip some wine together, cook something yummy, watch a movie or play a video game. Remember, it's about spending time together...not spending money.
8. TAKE A DAY OFF! You will never stop being a mother and hopefully, you'll never stop being a wife/spouse. BUT...you can stop being a chef, maid, seamstress, gardener, tutor and doctor for a few hours. Do it EVERY WEEK! NO EXCUSES!
*Now remember, this list is a list of things that helped me to transition into a more efficient way of mothering. This is not a complete annotated list of all the tips, pointers and advice about being a mommy! If you have any questions or want to add some things...leave them in the comments below!
COME BACK TOMORROW FOR DAY THREE OF MOTHERING WEEK! The topic is "What Kind of MAMA are YOU?"
ALSO...SEND ALL THE NEW MOMMIES OVER TOMORROW! I HAVE AN AWESOME GIVEAWAY FOR THEM!
I co-sign..We can't run ourselves down because then we won't be any good to anyone..
ReplyDeleteBeing a single mother I learned to prioritize what NEEDED to be done. I had to really make a need vs want lists...I am a big advocate of taking a mommy/wife free vacation...i try to at least get 1 in a quarter..When i say vacation I don't mean a trip always.. Sometimes its just a day when you think only of self..delegate child care to spouse or loved one. I had a family member that gets free hotel rooms and never uses them..So i used some. I was only about an hour away from my son. But those two days in that hotel were great for me. I was able to sleep uninterrupted, relax and do things i love like watch trashy tv (that i would never watch while my son was in the room) and watch movies that i wanted to see (without disney, pixar characters & singing to go along). Plus i read a book, i enjoyed the amenities of the hotel..i went swimming everyday..i ate at the restaurants, there was a local beach that i took a stroll on..i sat under the night sky on the beach and just thought and looked at the stars..shared laughter with a friend. Those two days allowed me to come home refreshed and recharged.
This month I'm going to New Orleans with my girls..can't wait for that.
Another thing I did for myself was buy a massage from groupon/living social. After my massage i came home and cooked a great meal and enjoyed some wine and a movie..
It's the little things you do that help..