Routine

We all know the definition of insanity right?  Just as a refresher:  "The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and again and expecting different results".

This is profound.  Entirely and utterly basic. YET...uncomfortable and difficult to execute.

We're creatures of habit.  We like our routines.  Even when it seems like you have no routine.  At times, our routines can be our downfall.

Don't believe me?  Just watch...

**Girl meets boy.  Boy turns out to be a colossal  douche (as opposed to a giant one...big difference).  Girl sticks around because she loves him.  Boy keeps taking douche baggery to another level.  Girl says she's leaving.  Boy apologizes.  Girl takes him back.  Yeah...like I was saying...routine.

Here is another...one of my FAVES!

**Girl is upset because she's overweight.  Girl eats an entire pizza with a 2 liter of Diet Coke to make her feel better.  Girl sits online looking at all the chicks that she *feels* look better than her.  Girl is upset because she's overweight.  Girl eats seven tacos, a doughnut and drinks a Sprite Zer0.  

Uh huh...second verse, same as the first.

So, I've decided to employ that lovely quote up there to my life.  I think realizing what your routines are makes all the difference.  

Because...how can you break a cycle that you don't even know your in?

#MESSAGE

10 Things About Me...

I've been absent from this blog for so long that I wouldn't blame you if you didn't remember anything about me without flipping through a few posts.  So, as a way of reintroducing myself to you, I decided to do a 10 things about me post.

Check it.

1.  There's no place like home.  I love being home surrounded by my favorite things and my favorite people.  There is nothing wrong with a good show, a good book, a good project and a good day/night at the crib.  You won't find me out trying to rub elbows with the latest celebrities or out pop lock and dropping at the trendiest club.  My scene is three sides brick, 3,158 sq ft, raised ranch bliss.

2.  I don't eat meat.  I eliminated meat from my diet because my digestive system was in full rebellion against all foul, red meat and the like.  I am a pescatarian.  I eat lots of veggies and seafood.  It works for me.  I do miss oxtails and hot wings at times...I can't even lie.

3.  I write a song everyday.  Now, I can't play the piano or guitar so, I create a melody and write lyrics.  Singing is like breathing for me.  I can't *not* do it.  You know those stories about musicians and singers singing/performing in the mirror when they were growing up?  Well, that was me.  I never pursued music seriously due to self doubt and the doubt of others.  I'm going to change that!  It's never too late...right?

4.  I LOVE my hair but, I don't worship it.  I used to have locs down my back.  Then, I decided to cut them.  Folks have said some pretty fucked up stuff about me cutting my hair.  Insinuating that somehow I've diminished or lessened my beauty because I don't have long hair.  But, for me, my hair is an accessory.  I don't go for #TeamNatural and all that because we were all on the natural team when we arrived here and I don't feel the need to tootsie roll over that.  I love that we are loving our natural selves more and I am grateful for the exchange of knowledge but...I'm the antithesis of a natural hair nazi.

5.  I love all things creative.  Music, fine arts, graphic arts, crafting, and PAPER CRAFTING (check my other blog, Two Tears in my Bucket).  Other artists/designers inspire me.  I try to absorb and learn as much as I can.  Over time, my interests have evolved but, the one constant is art in some form.

6.  I'm just starting to figure out my personal style.  Right now, I'm just a beautiful, eclectic, eccentric hodge podge of fashion.  Luckily, I have my Good Judy, my Hannah, Neshanta of Style is She to help coach me.  For the most part, I like clothes that feel good and look good.  I'm a hipster at heart but, I also love a classic dress and blazer.

7.   I love food.  I love to cook.  I like kitchen gadgets.  I don't like to exercise however.  This presents a problem.  I'm working on it.  

8.  I am not a Christian.  I believe something God-like exists.  I'm not necessarily sure what that thing is.  I believe in religious freedom.  I believe that everyone should be able to believe, worship and live in way that adds value to their life.  I think the world could use a little more tolerance and a lot less judgement.

9.  I like to speak my truth as much as possible.  I wasn't always this way.  Therefore, I relish in being honest with everyone around me.  Truth is, I'm not comfortable with all my truths but, I'm facing this...I won't run.

10.  My husband and my son are my everything.  Were it not for them, I would literally, not be a tenth of who I am.  They are my beacons of light on my darkest days.  They are the glow of happiness that shrouds all my days.

So, there you have it.  10 super personal, super real things about me.

Rrrratchet Rap! Ratchet Rap!

Hey y'all!  I don't know if you can imagine the dance I was doing while rapping and typing "Rrrratchet Rap! Ratchet Rap!"! LOL!  So, it just so happens that my 31st birthday is rapidly approaching!  Uh, yeah...I made a banner.  Don't get excited! It's just an awesome banner...

I also made a neat little flyer deal to tell all of my friends where I'll be on that day. But, a wise grasshopper told me to that that shit down!  You don't know WHO is going to be following us that day!  Smart grasshopper!

Effin' awesome!  I'm getting into the birthday groove.  While I love some good old Soul, R&B, Alternative, Pop, Country and Jazz music...I love rap as well.  It has to be good ratchet rap that touches my inner rat...ahem...excuse me...my inner HOOD rat.

Here are my birthday selections:

Hey! Hey!  I didn't say they would be PG-13.  I said they were ratchet!  Don't you judge me buddy!

Staying Too Long

Do you ever feel as though some parts of your life are just....well...stagnant?  Think about it.  You get up, get dressed, help your family get it together, drive in traffic/commute, work, come home, cook and clean, rest and repeat. You're moving but, you're not going any where.  Routine has dominated your life.  Not that routine is all bad of course. Routine keeps us balanced.  It can also keep us numb.  Numb to life going on outside your routine.  Numb to ambition.  Numb to alternative ways of thinking. Numb to the fact that we're standing still...stagnant.

The older I get the more I value and appreciate the spontaneous dreamer that used to exist within me as a younger woman.  So, I've decided to resurrect her.  So many parts of my life require that there is a steady constant.  So, I can't escape some of my routine.  However, I don't have to be oblivious to the rest of the beauty, intrigue, depth, and enormity of life going on all around me.

Here are some of my plans to live outside the routine:

1.  Take different routes to and from work.
2.  Listen to a different radio station.
3.  Eat something new.
4.  Kiss my husband before he says hello.
5.  Dye my hair.
6.  Go a whole week without complaining.
7.  Get naked in the mirror...in other words stop avoiding my fat.
8.  Talk less, listen more.
9.  Go on a hike.
10. Pick a flower...and smell it.

Do you ever wonder about life outside the routine?  Has routine claimed all of your drive, ambition and wonder?

What would be on your list?

Conflict Resolution

Women get a bad rep.  We're largely emotional and that drives a lot of our decisions.  It colors our interactions with each other, our spouses, our families, friends and colleagues.  In my opinion, it's very important to have the ability to handle conflict with class, and finesse.   By nature, I'm surly.  So, it's easy for me to dislike someone and use my tongue as a lethal weapon.  However, I'd like to think that I'm too polished and poised for the senseless bickering and tom foolery.

For the most part, I'm very methodical when I'm dealing with conflict.  I make measured statements and really think about the person I'm having conflict with before addressing it. This is not always my way.  I've have quite a few "snap on sight" moments.  You know - moments when you don't think...you just react.  "Snapping on Sight" is really not the best approach.  When you deal with conflict this way, you are at your most lethal.

My mantra is to use honesty as my war banner.  I'd rather tell someone the truth, listen to their rebuttal, and then give them more truth.  The often frustrating result of this method is folks not accepting your truths.  BUT...no one can doubt truth.  That's why it's best to lead with that.

When I watch certain TV shows, I shake my head at the way the cast handles conflict.  Now, of course, there would be no show without drama.  I get that.  However, I wish that folks didn't immediately jump up to get physical!  I mean, that is some primitive shit.

There are a plethora of important lesson learned during our time here on Earth.  However, one of the most important, is to learn the art of disagreeing.  Try and dissect the problem.  Think of a clear, concise and respectful way of handling it and move on.  Even if you don't get the last word or pop your foe in the mouth, you can walk away knowing that you handled your situation as a mature, classy, dignified and respectable person.

If that doesn't work.  Fuck 'em up!  Just kidding...no I'm not.

I Have Nothing to Talk About...

Hey Hannahs (that would be honey...the ratchet way)!  So, I haven't been blogging because honestly, I've been feeling like I should let Rose Redd Said go.  I don't feel like I have anything to talk about that you all would actually be interested in reading.

I mean, there a so many blogs out there.  A lot of them talk about shit that isn't very attention grabbing.  I just didn't want my blog to fall into the abyss of boring ass blogs.  I'm not hating on anyone's blog!  I'm simply stating that I don't want to put y'all to sleep with tales of belly button lint and socks.  Let me tell you...I get the most views when I'm being "Funny" as opposed to when I'm talking about my recipes or my DIY projects.  Folks don't give a damn about that.  So, that presents a conundrum for me.  Do I "shuck and jive" for y'all or share what I want to share.  I guess the answer is both.  Plus, shucking and jiving does come natural.

That's why my posts are so infrequent.  Does that draw brands to me?  No.  Does that do anything for my analytics?  That would be a hell no.  But, it's how I've dealt with this blog up until now.

My Good Judy, Neshanta (styleisshe.com) and I were having a conversation.

I said:  "Yeah, I'm done with Rose Redd Said, the blog".
She said:  "Bitch you'd better get it together...you are not getting rid of that blog"!
I said:  "Well damn, I guess I'm not".

There were more words after that but, basically, that's how it went.  So, I'm going to keep this ROSEY party going.  I'm not making any promises.

I'm just going to do me and see what happens.  All my other attempts at assimilating have failed.

A Breath of Fresh Hair...

Hello lovelies!  I'm going through a personal transformation.  Inside and out.  I decided to cut my locs into a bob.  A funky, sexy, fly bob at that!  I was carrying around a lot of hair and a lot of baggage too.  I had been toying around with cutting my hair for a while.  Let me tell you what was holding me back: 1.  I thought if I cut my hair then, folks would be able to see more of my neck and face FAT.  2.  I thought if I cut my hair then, folks would be able to see more of my neck and face FAT.  Second verse, same as the first.

Now, I don't know why I gave a furry fuck about how folks viewed me but, I got over it.  And I CUT IT!  Even though I know some terrific naturalistas/locticians/natural hair care givers I decided to keep my duckets  and cut it myself.

When I made the first few cuts, I felt liberated!  In those first few moments I let go of so much negative energy.

You can see just how much hair I had to let go of.  I know folks look at locs and see time, energy, effort and all that but, along with that comes assumption, false security and stereotypes.

One of the main reasons I loved my long hair is because it allowed me to feel safe.  It was something that I felt took attention away from my flaws.  To be flawed is to be human and no amount of hair or anything else can alter that.  I decided to let go of my veil and view life head-on...and allow folks to see me for me...not my damn hair.

So now...I'm fulfilled knowing that I took a chance.  I tried.  I did something new and unexpected.

It turns out that I am NOT my hair! Go figure!