Are you ready for the truth? Are you ready to tell your girlfriend that she is a little too flirty or tell your mother that she's smothering you? Truth...it's THAT very thing that keeps us away from a lot of what we say we want out of relationships with our significant others...and our friends.
Telling the "honest to goodness" truth is one of THE hardest things to do. Now, some of you are sitting in front of your screen, reading this and saying to yourself that you're always honest. You never lie outright nor by omission. I would like to remind you of your mortality and ask you to be honest with yourself before you continue reading this post...or it will just be a waste of your time.
Let me elaborate. I'm not suggesting that you become reckless and tactless with the truth. I'm merely suggesting that you be as honest with those around you as you possibly can be...even to the point of discomfort. When you're THAT honest, you'll discover one of two things. Either the person/people accept, appreciate and love you for who and what you are or...they don't.
It's cliche but, the truth does free you. How many of you have a man that has never seen you without make-up, weave, nails, etc? How many of you talk about your friends behind their backs because you don't want to offend them by telling them the truth to their faces? Booo on that! Booo! At the end of the day, you're just hiding. Come out into the light and enjoy life with your truth flag flying high.
Do I lie? Hell yeah, I lie. But, I realize that a lot of my mistakes and set backs have come from not saying how I felt, not being honest with myself or those that I love.
Here are some of my tough truths that I had to come to grips with:
1. I am a plus size woman. I wish I wasn't. But, the truth is I'm lazy and I procrastinate when it comes to exercise.
2. I have hair on my chin. Other people can see it. It's embarrassing. Truth is: it comes from PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome)...a weight related female issue with the ovaries and all that jazz. Yes, I know about laser hair removal...not the point here.
3. I have always wondered why my husband, who in my opinion is very handsome, would select me. I always felt like he could pull a chick that was doing it way more than me. As a result, I'm insecure when we're in public because I'm assuming that other people are thinking the same thing. Truth is, I never got over being the dark skinned girl who watched her light skinned peers be fawned over by all the boys.
4. I'm scared that people are going to think that I'm not smart so, I try to learn as much as I can so that I'm never caught looking like the dumb chick. Truth is: I want to be viewed as an intelligent woman and not being viewed that way scares me.
5. I'm not a Christian. It is awkward and uncomfortable to have to justify to people why I'm not one and why I'm not raising my son to be one. I think that he should grow up and figure out his faith. If I tell him what to believe in, that in my opinion is not true faith. Truth is: being raised as a Christian and living in the Bible Belt put a bad taste in my mouth for religion. Not to mention the religious studies course I took in undergrad...my eyes are open to a lot.
6. I'm an Admin not because that's all I'm capable of doing but, because I had a plan to complete my Education degree and teach - and this job was low key enough for me to do that and work full time. Now that I'm not going to teach...I feel like people look down on me for what I do. Truth is: I have another plan. But, I must admit my corporate safety net feels great.
I hope my honesty can help you find and accept your own truths.
Telling the "honest to goodness" truth is one of THE hardest things to do. Now, some of you are sitting in front of your screen, reading this and saying to yourself that you're always honest. You never lie outright nor by omission. I would like to remind you of your mortality and ask you to be honest with yourself before you continue reading this post...or it will just be a waste of your time.
Let me elaborate. I'm not suggesting that you become reckless and tactless with the truth. I'm merely suggesting that you be as honest with those around you as you possibly can be...even to the point of discomfort. When you're THAT honest, you'll discover one of two things. Either the person/people accept, appreciate and love you for who and what you are or...they don't.
It's cliche but, the truth does free you. How many of you have a man that has never seen you without make-up, weave, nails, etc? How many of you talk about your friends behind their backs because you don't want to offend them by telling them the truth to their faces? Booo on that! Booo! At the end of the day, you're just hiding. Come out into the light and enjoy life with your truth flag flying high.
Do I lie? Hell yeah, I lie. But, I realize that a lot of my mistakes and set backs have come from not saying how I felt, not being honest with myself or those that I love.
Here are some of my tough truths that I had to come to grips with:
1. I am a plus size woman. I wish I wasn't. But, the truth is I'm lazy and I procrastinate when it comes to exercise.
2. I have hair on my chin. Other people can see it. It's embarrassing. Truth is: it comes from PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome)...a weight related female issue with the ovaries and all that jazz. Yes, I know about laser hair removal...not the point here.
3. I have always wondered why my husband, who in my opinion is very handsome, would select me. I always felt like he could pull a chick that was doing it way more than me. As a result, I'm insecure when we're in public because I'm assuming that other people are thinking the same thing. Truth is, I never got over being the dark skinned girl who watched her light skinned peers be fawned over by all the boys.
4. I'm scared that people are going to think that I'm not smart so, I try to learn as much as I can so that I'm never caught looking like the dumb chick. Truth is: I want to be viewed as an intelligent woman and not being viewed that way scares me.
5. I'm not a Christian. It is awkward and uncomfortable to have to justify to people why I'm not one and why I'm not raising my son to be one. I think that he should grow up and figure out his faith. If I tell him what to believe in, that in my opinion is not true faith. Truth is: being raised as a Christian and living in the Bible Belt put a bad taste in my mouth for religion. Not to mention the religious studies course I took in undergrad...my eyes are open to a lot.
6. I'm an Admin not because that's all I'm capable of doing but, because I had a plan to complete my Education degree and teach - and this job was low key enough for me to do that and work full time. Now that I'm not going to teach...I feel like people look down on me for what I do. Truth is: I have another plan. But, I must admit my corporate safety net feels great.
I hope my honesty can help you find and accept your own truths.
great post! You are soo not lying when you say the truth sets you free, you can deny things all you want but when it comes right down to it the truth is all you got! Like Iyanla says, "lets call a thing a thing people!" lol
ReplyDeleteWhow... that was some true honesty, but I read EVERY single word in your post. I love how candid you were with your tough truths too. You have them down for the whole world to see. Now thats some honesty! I have a laundry list of tough truths too. Great post :)
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Rochelle my darlin, you brought it again. LOVED this post, it was candid and real. I felt like you were reading a page out of my mental diary. I have been recently being more honest with myself and I'm in the process of being more honest with others, even "to the point of discomfort". As for your list, I'm a big procrastinator as well, but i'm a work in progress, lol, don't give up. I can relate to number 2-5 on the list and some of number 6. I think honesty does set you free. So I say keep it up, keep being honest you are doing great!
ReplyDeleteGreat post about truth! There are so many reasons why we choose to lie, deny and hide the truth.
ReplyDeleteI think you have inspired me to share some of my own truths in an upcoming post!
Thanks so much for sharing your truth with us. I believe you have gone and inspired me to share some of my own truths!
ReplyDeleteAAHH! I responded over on Marie's blog and I'm glad I came over to where the post originated. I think it's "fascinating" for a lack of a better word that as women, so many of our truths are so universal and similar. . .I think all women struggle with insecurity in some shape or form. I've always felt like I was smart (a lot smarter than some of my peers) but it wasn't until this past summer (at age 40) that I finally got my bachelor's degree. ALL of my friends already had their undergrad and most now have graduate degrees. I was so embarrassed that I never even told anyone that I was in school. They all assumed I have a degree and I never corrected them. . . girl, this is like therapy, I could go on and on! LOL! Thanks for sharing your truths and making me take a long hard look in the mirror as well!
ReplyDeleteAAHH! I left a comment on Marie's blog but I'm glad I came over to where the post originated! I think it's fascinating, for lack of a better word, that as women so many of our "truths" are so similar. . .I think all women struggle with some form insecurity. For me it was my education. . .I just received my bachelor's degree this summer (at age 40) and I was always embarrassed by the fact that ALL of my friends and most associates had their undergrad and now most have graduate degrees. I never told anyone I was in school. . .they all assumed I already had a degree and I let them think that was the truth. Because I felt that would mean I wasn't as smart as they all thought I was. . .or something equally as ridiculous. Girl, this is like therapy I could go on and on! Thanks so much for sharing and making me look in the mirror!
ReplyDeleteJust finding your blog via Marie Young's post!!!! LOVING this post and what you're talking about. I feel you and bless you for the truth. I find as of the last year I have been MUCH more open and transparent and honest than in previous years. Many thanks again!
ReplyDeleteThis is such an awesome post... We all have some truths that we don't like to ave! I'm a curser and BIG time procrastinator!!!!! My family & friends might think I gave it all together but I'm a pack rat!!!!! :-/
ReplyDeleteI need to work on me daily... Thanks for sharing!!!!! I'm now following you & look forward to future posts!!!!
Xoxo
Lynn
Thank you so much for boldly and bravely sharing your truths with all of us. Oftentimes we are conditioned to candy-coat things and show others the "edited" version of ourselves so much that we don't get familiar with being truly honest with ourselves and others. I'm horrible with candy-coating things, so this post was just what the doctor ordered. Seeing you keep it honest with yourself and us has inspired me to do the same thing.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the share!
Super late, but great post. First off, I saw not one chin hair. Second, you are smart, funny, and very cute. I gained all that from meeting you in person. Sooo, I can see that's hwy your husband chose you.
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