When a Friendship Dies...

Hey there Rose Heads!  You'd be glad to know that I've finally figured out the direction of this blog!  It's the TRUTH direction.  I want to share everything with you all that's going on me.  Well, you know within reason.  'Cause I KNOW that someone can benefit from my experiences.  I know I benefit from all the info out there in the bloggosphere!

So...that leads us to today's topic...

Recently, my "best friend" (I don't know how I feel about that title at age 30...hence the quotation marks) and I had a blow out of epic proportions.  I mean EPIC.  Honestly, in my mind, I thought that she and I would be able to work through our issues and still remain friends but, THEN...

got involved.  Apparently, when she vented to her friends they decided to support her by posting unflattering comments about ME, MOI, YOURS TRULY on her FB wall.  Y'all, that hurt me so bad!  I couldn't believe it!  It didn't hurt because their loyalty is to her and they should support their friend.  It hurt because she not only "liked" the comments but, allowed them to stay on her wall as opposed to hiding or deleting them...so I deleted her.

But, now that I've had time to reflect and appreciate the good times that we shared during our friendship that was OVER A DECADE long, I've come up with some rules for disagreeing peacefully.

RULES FOR DISAGREEING WITH FRIENDS PEACEFULLY:

1.  Don't disagree via text.

This is how it all started.  She text'd me this long message, I responded and all hell broke loose.  Voice to voice or face to face are the best options for discussion.  Then, you can hear the tone and inflection in the other person's voice.  You are also more willing to come to a resolution.  It's very easy to be bold in print but, face to face or voice to voice...not so much.

2.  Remember the good times.

When you're upset with someone, it's really easy to think of all the things that they ever did to upset or hurt you and link them all together.  Even though you're angry, take a moment to remember all the supportive, fun and awesome experiences you all had together.  That will quell your temper and allow you to think more rationally.

3.  Don't be a kudos seeker.

If you're genuinely someone's friend and you do something to support them emotionally, financially or otherwise, don't expect to receive a pat on the back every time.  Sure, you want your friends to appreciate you BUT...they don't have to tell you how awesome you are all the time.

4.  Don't take it to social media

If you can help it...which you totally can... Don't take your feud or disagreement to FB or Twitter.  First of all, that's not classy or lady like. Second, the situation is between you and your friend not the whole world.  Third, that's just mean.

5.  Set realistic expectations for your friendship.

Everyone has different friends for different things.  All of your friends aren't going to be hang out, go shopping, go to church, clubbing, visiting your house friends.  Diversify your friends so that you don't put too many expectations on any one friend.

6.  Make up your OWN mind.

No matter how easy it is to get your friends to turn against someone you deem an enemy, don't listen to them.  Make up your own mind as to how you feel about the person you're disagreeing with.

7.  Don't part ways on bad terms.

Even though you may not be able to salvage the friendship, don't part ways on bad terms.  Life is so short and so fragile and you never know when that person could be gone.  So, swallow your pride and move on in peace...not rage.

Now, I'm going to be honest, I haven't reached out to her YET...but, I plan on it.  Because to me, out of all of the rules, number 7 is the most important one.  We may never be friends again but, we don't have to walk around hating each other. 

So, I hope this helped you!  Just typing it out helped me!